


Sometimes, You Gotta Be Selfish

by Medie



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Backstory, Character of Color, M/M, POV Character of Color
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2012-11-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:00:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He and Stiles have spent the last year doing their thing and hiding Scott from the Argents, dodging Alphas, and generally getting a crash course in werewolf 101. Erica and Isaac might not have gone into this with their eyes open, but Boyd definitely did. Boyd's seen everything from Scott's miraculous transformation to Peter Hale ripping Kate Argent's throat out. He <em>gets it</em>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sometimes, You Gotta Be Selfish

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Иногда нужно быть эгоистом](https://archiveofourown.org/works/908374) by [arisu_aiko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arisu_aiko/pseuds/arisu_aiko)



> because tumblr and halffizzbin put the idea in my head and then it wouldn't leave. Also a little bit of Boyd head!canon sneaking in there, but blink and you'll miss it.

He takes the bite. Scott doesn't want him to, but this isn't about what Scott wants. It can't be, even if it feels like a betrayal to think like that. Scott was the first person in a very long time to really, really give a damn about what Boyd wanted. 

But, this time, he has to go it alone. He stands before Derek, takes one last minute to be sure, and then he nods. 

Boyd waits until he's sure that it's healing before he lets Scott find him. It's kind of really easy, hiding from him, but only because of Stiles and the texts he sends. They keep Scott a few steps behind and, hopefully, going in the wrong direction until Boyd's sure that it takes. Until he can feel the wolf take hold and knows he won't be dying today. 

When he feels the wolf settle beneath his skin, stealing its way through his body, he sends Stiles one last text. It's an all clear and thanks all in one and it's the first text that Stiles doesn't answer. He doesn't approve of the way Boyd's doing this and Boyd doesn't blame him.

He doesn't. Sure, Stiles annoys the fuck out of him some days, but the guy's always there for Scott. Always and no questions asked. Boyd can forgive a lot, knowing that. It's one of the things he banks on.

If something goes wrong, he's sure Scott won't be alone. 

Plus, Stiles isn't wrong. Boyd knows he probably should have told Scott the whole story, but he can't. Scott would stop him because Scott doesn't get it. He's never had the kind of emptiness that Boyd has. He doesn't know what it's like to have someone you love just disappear. Scott was glad when his dad left and he feels guilty about that, but he doesn't miss him. There's no hole in his life. Scott has his mom, Stiles, and Boyd. 

Boyd just has him. Boyd needs the pack like Derek needs it and that's part of the reason he wants this so damn bad. Derek _gets it_. Boyd doesn't even have to try explaining with him. 

He's not sure he'll ever be able to explain it to Scott. Not without making Scott feel like he isn't enough, like Boyd doesn't need him, and he can't. Can't even think about Scott feeling that way. Scott's been everything to Boyd, everything he wants and needs, but hasn't dared hope for in years. Not since Jake died.

Since he can't explain with words, Boyd goes with actions. He goes to Derek, he takes the bite, and he waits for it to take hold. Stiles keeps Scott dancing and, when he's ready, Boyd goes to Scott's to wait. 

Derek drops him off. "He won't understand," he warns, resigned. "Not yet. He'll be pissed at you for a long time."

"Can't blame him," Boyd shrugs. "Your uncle fucked him over big time."

Derek's jaw tightens and he nods. Boyd doesn't need his newly-enhanced senses to hear the thunder of his heart. Peter Hale fucked over a lot of people, but he'd started with his own family. 

He watches as Derek draws a breath, flexes his hand on the steering wheel, then looks at Boyd like nothing happened. "If you need me--"

Boyd pats his pocket and the cell it holds. "On speed dial." He turns around and heads into the house. Mrs. McCall gave him a key last Christmas, so he lets himself in.

He loves Scott's house. It's way bigger than it should be, old and rickety in places where Mrs. McCall hasn't had a chance to fix stuff yet, and it's warm. Comfortable. Like a home. 

Boyd always feels better when he's in the house and he feels better now. He lets himself wander around, getting used to the scents that he never really noticed before. Last night's dinner, Mrs. McCall's favorite perfume, and the scent of Scott everywhere he turns.

He inhales slowly, letting the scent sink into him, and grins when he remembers the first time Scott did that after he changed. He remembers the way Scott had practically tackled him and pressed his face into Boyd's neck like it was some kind of nirvana. 

Boyd shivers with the memory, feels himself react, and shakes his head. "So not the time," he tells himself, hearing a key in the lock.

He freezes, catches the fresher scent of Scott coming home, and goes to meet him in the kitchen door. "In here, Scott."

"You did it, didn't you?" 

Like Scott even has to ask. Boyd hasn't shifted yet, but he can feel the difference in himself. He _knows_ Scott's a wolf. He can smell it, sure, but it's more. The recognition's weird, tricky, and he'll probably have to ask Derek later, but he can tell. Can see it, feel it, and if he can, then Scott _definitely_ can.

Boyd sinks onto a chair at the kitchen table and waits. Scott takes his time moving through the house, his steps heavy and reluctant.

He waits until Scott's in the doorway, smelling like fear and anger, before he looks up to say. "Had to."

"No," Scott says, just a little plaintive. "You didn't have to, Boyd." 

"Yeah, I did, Scott," Boyd says. He makes himself meet Scott's gaze when he answers him. "You might not understand it, but I did." He had a real family once, before his brother died and life narrowed down to an endless cycle of work and school. He barely sees his parents anymore, isn't sure they know much of anything about him, and knows that isn't going to change any time soon. 

He tries not to blame them for it, most days he even succeeds, but Boyd knows that Scott's about the only connection he has left. It's part of the reason he said yes and he doesn't know how to tell Scott that. He's not sure there's a way to explain he can't stand the idea of putting everything on Scott, of making their relationship the only real thing he's got in this world. 

He can already feel the pack reaching out for him, small though it is, and it's _good_. Warm. Part of him wants to pull Scott into it with him. Wrap him up in his arms and just enjoy how damn good this feels. 

Except Scott is looking at him like he shot a puppy and then ran it over with the Zamboni. "It's not like I didn't know what I was getting into," he points out. "Been through it all with you." He and Stiles have spent the last year doing their thing and hiding Scott from the Argents, dodging Alphas, and generally getting a crash course in werewolf 101. Erica and Isaac might not have gone into this with their eyes open, but Boyd definitely did. Boyd's seen everything from Scott's miraculous transformation to Peter Hale ripping Kate Argent's throat out. He _gets it_. "I'm not afraid, Scott." 

"That's the problem," Scott snaps. "You _should be_. They're going to kill you, Boyd. Derek's turning people because of Allison's grandfather and no way Gerard lets that go. They're probably going to war and you're—" he breaks off and stomps away, staring out the kitchen window. "You shouldn't have done it. You're going to be in the middle of all of it." 

"Like you aren't?" Boyd scrubs his hands over his head, locking his fingers together and staring at the floor. "It was my call, Scott. I want this. I know what's coming and I still want this. I'm not scared of that. The only thing that scares me about any of this is that it might mean losing y—" he loses the words when Scott slams into him in a blur of motion that yanks him up off the chair and into the nearest wall.

Scott's fingers dig into his shirt, pulling him down into a kiss. Caught off guard, it takes Boyd a minute to catch on. When he does, he returns the kiss as fiercely as Scott's giving it and _fuck_ , now he gets it because Scott's scent hits him like heroin in his veins. Everything comes alive and Boyd just wants _more_ and maybe he's growling, but so's Scott. They pull at each other's clothes, completely caught up and Boyd can't remember anything that isn't the way Scott feels right now. The way Scott grinds up against him and the way their scents tangle up until he's Scott and Scott's him.

"This," Scott mutters, biting at Boyd's mouth, "isn't over."

Boyd grabs Scott, lifting him up. Scott responds by wrapping his legs around Boyd and _grinding_ until they're both seeing stars. 

"Course not," he says, kissing Scott. "But can we keep having a ton of angry sex until it is, because you have no idea how fucking amazing you feel right now." 

It's way too rational and way too calm for the way he feels right now, and God, this explains so much about Scott last year. Boyd had ruined three pairs of pants in a week because of Scott's sneak attacks at the rink. 

Feeling _this_ , Boyd thinks it's a miracle he has any pants left at all. He just wants to rip Scott's clothes off and fuck him six ways from Sunday. Wants to just lose himself in the scent of them and fuck, it's hard to be terrified right now. 

But he is. Hunters he can handle. The change he can handle. Losing Scott? Yeah, that one's going to be a problem. 

He pulls back long enough to look Scott in the eye, hoping like hell his fear doesn't bleed into his scent when he asks, "We're good, right?" 

"Yeah," Scott says. He presses his face into Boyd's neck, sucking a kiss into the skin there. "I wish you hadn't done it, but yeah. We're good. I'm not going anywhere and neither are you. Not if I have a say about it." 

Boyd doesn't answer that. He just pulls Scott's mouth back to his and tries to kiss the argument right out of him. He recognizes that tone and that look. He knows they're going to fight for a long time about this, but that's fine. It's fucking awesome, actually. 

Thing about fighting is that it doesn't work if you don't care. It's probably twenty different kinds of wrong that he thinks that's reassuring, but fuck that.

It is and he's not sorry. 

Not about any of it.


End file.
